Silent Battle
by Maraena
Summary: The real cost of war isn't measured in numbers. Chapter 18 now posted!Please R&R! ON HOLD INDEFINATELY
1. Teaser

Its me again. Here's a teaser for my next story I'm co-authoring with SilverFalcon.

Disclaimer: Don't own M*A*S*H. Blah Blah Blah.

~*~

"Come on Hawk, you have to talk to us, we can't help you until you do." BJ sat it front of his friend.

"I didn't ask for your help" Hawkeye snapped, standing up.

"Well we're giving it"

"Give it to someone else, I'm leaving" Hawkeye walked towards the door.

"Pierce, get back here now!" Potter commanded, standing up. Hawkeye stopped.

"Is that an order?" He asked over his shoulder.

"Yes"

"Well, I'm still going,"

"Pierce!" Potter yelled at the swinging door. He and BJ were silent for a moment.

"Well, that went well"

~*~

Let me know if you want more.


	2. ATTENTION ALL PERSONEL

It was the fourth straight day without any serious wounded.

Things were quiet.

But this being the 4077, that wouldn't last much longer. All the resident surgeons, excluding Potter, were in the swamp partaking in one of their usual off-duty hobbies.

Hawkeye was stretched out on his cot, a martini in one hand and a copy of Nudist Weekly in the other. BJ was on his own cot re-reading his most recent letter from his family. Charles was rummaging around in his footlocker, muttering under his breath. The camps newest surgeon, Captain Natasha J. Lewis, was sitting on the chair between BJ and Hawkeye's cots leafing through an outdated catalogue, a martini glass sitting precariously close to her elbow looking ready to topple at the first sign of contact.

"Listen to this," BJ said, holding his letter up. "Erin's going to her first birthday party."

Hawkeye looked up from his magazine, but didn't interrupt as his friend continued on about what his family was up to.

"God I miss them." BJ finished wistfully before picking up his own glass and carefully draining its contents. Hawkeye went back to his magazine, having heard this one before.

"Charlie," Tasha called playfully. "Whatcha doing?" Winchester looked up.

"First of all, that's Major to you, Captain. And if you must know-"

"I must."

"-I'm looking for my-"

"Hair?" Hawkeye piped up.

"No,-"

"Sanity?" BJ asked, his homesickness temporarily forgotten.

"No. I am looking for-" Winchester was cut off once again, this time by the PA system.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL, UH… CAPTAIN PIERCE. REPORT TO COLONEL POTTERS OFFICE."

"What'd you do this time?" Tasha immediately asked.

"Why do you always think I've done something."

"Because you're you." BJ supplied. Hawkeye looked thoughtful.

"A very good point."

"NOW. SIR." The PA system added

"You had better get going." Winchester said, going back to his footlocker.

"Fine." Hawkeye stood, dropping his magazine and carefully placing the martini glass next to the still. "I know when I'm not wanted."

"Good boy." Tasha taunted good naturedly as he left. "So what did he do?"

"Nothing that I know of."

"But the day is young." Winchester said. Tasha and BJ exchanged a look, then they both turned to Winchester.

"So, what are you looking for?"

* * *

"You called?" Hawkeye asked as he barged in to Colonel Potter's office.

"Sit down, Hawkeye."

"Ooh, this sounds serious."

"It is." Potter said. "You've volunteered to go up to the aid station."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did."

"When?"

"After Tasha volunteered BJ and BJ volunteered Winchester, he volunteered you."

"Who'd I volunteer?"

"Me."

"So why aren't you going?"

"I'm in command. I don't have to." Potter responded. Hawkeye thought about this.

"Fair enough," Hawkeye stood up. "So, when do I leave?"

Potter looked at his watch. "Now."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Klinger's loading the jeep now. Try not to get killed."

"I'll do my best."


	3. Returning

Ah. Silence. Blessed silence.

Hawkeye had been gone for almost a full day and things were peaceful.  
Winchester lay back on his cot, Mozart playing in the background. A thick book in one hand and a glass of one of his older vintages in the other. He planned to enjoy every minute that he could of this little reprieve. Very few could or would dare interrupt him now. In fact, the only thing that would make it perfect would be if Hunnicut had gone as well. Well, he couldn't have everything.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL. INCOMING WOUNDED. ALL SHIFTS REPORT TO OR. THAT'S ALL SHIFTS FOLKS. HILL 405 JUST FELL OVER!"

Winchester groaned. Why him?

Nine hours later …

"Trust Pierce to go cross-country when we've got wounded." Winchester complained. "Clamp." The nurse handed him the item.

"You volunteered him." Tasha pointed out without looking up, her brow wrinkled in concentration.

"You alright there?" BJ asked, taking a quick look over his shoulder.

"Peachy."

"But, it does make for a more pleasant working environment." Winchester continued, ignoring the looks from the other surgical staff.

"Knock it off." Potter warned, sensing the tension building.

"Okay, who's next?" BJ called out.

"I got a fresh one for ya, Captain." Klinger and a corpsman came in with a Korean man between them.

"Send another one my way, doll." Tasha called, stepping back as her patient was taken to Post-Op. The Korean's eyes opened and he started thrashing around.

"Get him under!" BJ exclaimed.

"I'm trying!" The nurse snapped back. "He won't keep still." The Korean started yelling and tried to sit down.

"Hold him down!" Potter ordered. Tasha called in Korean to the man. He stopped struggling to stare in her direction. The nurse quickly sedated him and BJ started treating him.

"What did you say?" BJ asked.

"That he'll be fine." She responded as she started on a soldier with a head wound.

"Quick thinking." Potter praised her.

"Scalpel." She responded.

Six hours later ….

"How many more are there?" Potter called to Klinger. The corporal and another corpsman deposited a litter on Winchester's table.

"Nine left." Klinger responded, straightening his blouse.

"You know, we would have been done by now if we'd had a full staff."

"Shove it, Winchester." Tasha snapped.

"Someone's cranky." BJ teased.

"Yes. Someone is." Tasha retorted.

"Well, you know I'm right."

"Maybe. But you don't bad mouth someone unless it's to their face."

"That's an odd philosophy." Potter commented.

"Fine. I'll bad mouth him when he gets back."

"That's the idea." BJ chortled, earning himself a dark look from Winchester. BJ stepped back to let the corpsmen place another kid on the table.

* * *

"That jeep looks familiar."

"Yes, it does."

"Maybe because it's one of ours." Winchester replied, rubbing his face. It had been a long session and with one man missing, it meant more for the others. So, as you can imagine, they were tired.

"No," Tasha looked shocked. "You think?"

"Don't waste your sarcasm on me, Captain."

"Of course, Major."

"What's it doing there?"

"Maybe it's running away?"

"It'll need to move faster than that."

"Ah, those jeeps can be tricky."

"Morons," Winchester rolled his eyes. "You both realize you're talking about a jeep."

"Yeah."

"And that's Captain Moron to you." Tasha snorted.

"Think about what you just said." BJ advised.

There was silence for a moment. "Oh. Well, I'm not a Moron."

"No. You're Captain Moron." BJ said.

"Walked right into that one." Tasha placed her hands behind her head and yawned.  
"Yes, you did."

"I blame it on the long hours." She continued.

"But, if the jeep's back that must mean that Hawkeye's back too" BJ pointed out.

"Then where is he?"

"And why didn't come and help in the OR?"

"Ask him," Tasha said, nodding at the swamp. "He's lurking in there." She added as she went to her own tent.

"Miss me?" Hawkeye was stretched out on his bunk, a martini in his hand.

"No." Winchester dropped onto his bunk, not bothering to change.

"When did you get back?" BJ asked, giving Winchester an unreadable look.

"About half an hour ago."

"And why didn't you come and help?" Winchester asked.

"You looked like you were having too much fun."

"Oh yeah. A real blast." BJ lay down and folded his hands behind head. "But, your back. So I forgive you."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"Any time." He flinched as he raised his glass.

"Are you hurt?" Winchester stared at Hawkeye from his bunk. His sleeve was torn and a white bandage was just visible.

"Oh, that. It's just a scratch." Hawkeye responded a little too quickly.

"Right." BJ said in an unbelieving tone.

"No, it is." Hawkeye pulled his sleeve to show the bandage.

"Has anyone had a look at it?"

"I did." Hawkeye insisted. "It's fine."

"Your definition of fine leaves a lot to be desired." Winchester said, closing his eyes.

"I wasn't asking for your opinion." Hawkeye snipped.

"Let me have a look." BJ shifted to Hawkeye's bunk and moved to check his arm. Hawkeye complied and watched as BJ removed the bandage and probe to the wound.

"That's not a scratch." BJ stated.

"Sure it is," Hawkeye said, shrugging.

"Keep still."

"It's a roof scratch."

"Roof?"

"Yeah. Part of it decided to better acquainted with the floor."

"And you didn't have it checked earlier?"

"They were busy and I wanted to leave."

"Fair enough, but you need stitches." BJ said, rewrapping the bandage.

"Do it later. I'm gonna get some sleep." Hawkeye peered at BJ. "You look like you need some too."

"Alright." BJ was uncertain. "But don't put it off."

"Yes, sir!" Hawkeye slumped back on his cot and closed his eyes.

"Sweet dreams." BJ called to his tent-mates and was soon snoring.

"Like that's possible." Winchester said through a yawn.

After about twenty minutes, Hawkeye shifted and rolled over, unable to get comfortable. He sat up and absently rubbed his arm, wincing at the motion. Bad move. Hawkeye cast a look around the room. BJ and Winchester were sleeping and Hawkeye really didn't want to wake them.

Instead, he got up, putting on his favorite red robe. As quietly as he could, Hawkeye left the Swamp, closing the door to stop it banging.  
Hawkeye saw Potter coming out of post-op as he was heading towards it.

"Oh, Hawkeye. Welcome back." Potter greeted the head surgeon. "How was the trip?"

"Pretty ordinary," Hawkeye said. "Few bombs dropping. Snipers at the door. The usual."

Potter grinned. "Sounds like a routine visit."

"Pretty much." Hawkeye said. "Is Tasha on duty?"

Potter nodded. "Uh huh. I don't know how that girl can still be awake." Potter yawned. "Speaking of which, I'll catch up with you later." He continued to his quarters and Hawkeye entered Post-Op.

Hawkeye wondered if Potter had seen the pained expression on his face. He probably did. The CO missed very little.

"Looks like a full house." Hawkeye said as he entered. The two nurses on duty looked up and grinned at Hawkeye as he greeted them in his usual manner; he making a pass and them shooting him down.

"Evening, Pierce." Tasha replaced the chart she had been reading. "Did Charlie and BJ chew you out?"

"Why won't you call me Hawkeye? You call BJ, BJ."

"Well, Pierce. That's because I don't like you." She responded sweetly.

"And you like Charles?"

"Nope. He doesn't have a nickname though." She paused. "That he knows about."  
"Well, I am going to change your mind about me."

"That'll be the day. Now, what did you want?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"Always, doll."

"Actually, I need a favor." Hawkeye started.

Tasha inclined her head and waited for him to continue, when he didn't, she motioned towards the examination rooms with her head.

"Come into the office." She said. "I'll be back in a minute, Jill." Tasha called to the nurse nearest her.

"Of course, Doctor." Jill responded, a devilish twinkle in her eye. Tasha rolled her eyes as the double doors swung closed.

"Now how may I be of service?" Tasha asked as they entered the empty office.

"I need you to take a look at something," Tasha raised an eyebrow.

"What?" she asked uncertainly as Hawkeye removed his left arm from inside his robe. "Ouch." She commented, gently probing the injury.

"No kidding." He hissed. "It just needs stitching." He added. Tasha ignored his warning tone.

"And cleaning." She said absently. "So, you want this off the record then?"

"Please. Hey! Not so hard!"

"Baby." She teased.

"Oh, real cute."

"Thank you." Tasha uncovered a tray of instruments. She picked up the rubbing alcohol and started cleaning the wound properly. "Why didn't you get BJ to do this?"

"He needed sleep. Ow!" Hawkeye clenched his jaw and gripped the side of the table he was sitting on.

"Man. Men can take a vicious beating and go to the bar and brag about the size of the other guy, yet simple rubbing alcohol turns them into infants." Tasha continued to dab the wound with a clean cloth.

"You've been working on your bedside manner, I see."

"Glad you noticed." Tasha picked up a pair of tweezers.

"What do you need those for?"

"Which medical school did you go to?"

"And you sense of humor."

"Well, darl." Tasha began. "You have something imbedded in your bicep brachii." She carefully fished the foreign matter out. "That causes pain and can get infected." Tasha looked Hawkeye in the eye. "I take it you've had the pain?"

"What gave it away."

"You're sweating." She added wryly.

"Okay, missy," Hawkeye was ready to play her game. "Which vein could have been hit."

"The Cephalic or Brachial Veins. You really need to make this hard." Tasha injected a local atheistic into the area. Hawkeye realized his grip on the bed as his shoulder went numb.

"I'll do better next time." Hawkeye watched Tasha gave the now unfeeling wound one last check and stitched it closed, finishing off with a clean bandage.

"There you go."

"Can I have a lollypop?" He asked solemnly.

"Fresh out." She shrugged.

"How about a hug?" Hawkeye tried again, his eyes twinkling.

"Don't push it." Tasha's expression went serious. "One of us'll have to tell Potter."

"Really?"

"Man, you must have really done something stupid to want to keep it a secret, you know that stuff won't wear off for a while." Tasha shook her head and started cleaning up. "You know the way out."

"You're too kind." Hawkeye called back as he left. He stopped at the doors and turned around. "Do you think you could keep this to yourself?"

"You'll tell Potter?" She bargained, looking over her shoulder.

"Yeah, sure." Hawkeye promised as he pulled his robe back on and disappeared.

Tasha rolled her eyes at the door as it swung closed, then went back to the dish where she'd dropped the stuff she'd pulled from Hawkeye's arm. She was about to dispose of it when something caught her attention.

Carefully, she picked up a piece with the tweezers sitting next to the dish. It looked metallic and didn't weigh much. Now she was curious. Tasha put that down and picked up another piece. She dropped it suddenly when she realized what it was. Not so foreign matter.

"Damn you, Pierce." She growled and weighed up whom to take this to first. Then Hawkeye's words floated back into her head. Damn him again! Then it occurred that she never actually promised not to say anything. She smiled. If he didn't say anything by tomorrow afternoon, she'd be having a word with the pigheaded man.

Hawkeye made his way back to the swamp. BJ and Winchester hadn't woken during his absence. He was glad. He wasn't ready to talk about what happened, not even with BJ. But, at least his arm wasn't throbbing. And Tasha would keep quiet for a while.

She was like that.

At least, he hoped she was.

When Hawkeye was asleep, BJ woke. He sat up and looked over at Hawkeye, noting the new bandage. Something was bugging his friend.

BJ yawned. It could wait till later.


	4. Bright Pink Bikini's

Disclaimer: The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

* * *

To my many anonymous reviewers: the quote from the summary comes from a book called 'The Adult Only Joke Book'. And I'm over the moon that you guys like the story! As for the 'foreign matter', well, you'll just have to read on to find out more!

One thing that Colonel Potter really hated about being in command was paper work. It seemed to be endless some days. As soon as he finished signing one lot of papers, Radar would come rushing in with another lot. But he had to make sure he knew what he was signing in case someone slipped in any 'extra' forms.

"Any more, Radar?" Potter called as he put his pen down. Radar came rushing in to collect the papers.

"No, sir. That's it for today."

"Colonel Potter." Klinger made his entrance through the double doors. Potter sighed and handed the papers to Radar.

"Make it quick, Klinger," Potter said. "I've got things to do." He looked up at Klinger. "And what the heck are you wearing?"

"You like it?" Klinger flashed a grin. "I thought of you when I made it." Potter just stared. Klinger was wearing a bikini. Bright pink and very small, with a sarong on his lower half.

"Where's the rest of it?" The vein in Potter's head was starting to dance.

"What'da ya mean?" Klinger said, looking offended. "It's all the rage."

"Put some clothes on!" Potter ordered, standing up. Radar, who had been watching the whole thing, left when he heard the phone ring. The one in the office went unnoticed.

"But isn't this crazy enough for a section eight?"

"No. It's crazy enough, but not for a section eight."

"It's not?" Klinger asked, and began to untie his sarong, " How about this then?"

"Stop right there" Klinger paused, "It was a good try, but next time try something a little less…"

"You're right sir, I don't know what I was thinking. Pink. With my complexion!"

"Better luck next time, Klinger." Potter commiserated as Klinger left and Radar came back in.

"Uh, phone for you sir, it's the aid station that Captain Pierce was at."

"Do they want him back?" Potter asked, half serious. Radar shook his head.

"No, sir, they just want to talk to you."

"Put it through." Radar went back out. Potter's phone rang a moment later.

"Colonel Potter speaking," Potter leaned back and frowned. "Yes, Pierce made it back alright. Yes. Not as far as I know. No. Of course not. Yes, I'll ask around. Okay, thanks for calling. I'll let him know. Goodbye." He put the phone back in the bag.

After a long while, Potter stood and left the office.

* * *

When Hawkeye woke, he looked around and saw that Winchester was gone. BJ wasn't. Instead of being somewhere else, he was on his cot drinking and reading at the same time. BJ glanced across and saw that Hawkeye was awake. BJ stood up, finished his drink and poured two more.

"Rise and Shine," BJ said, handing Hawkeye the second martini. Hawkeye sat up and accepted the glass.

"What for?"

"A new day."

"All the same," Hawkeye drained the glass and placed it on the still. "I think I'll wait for the next one." He lay back on the cot.

"Did you get your arm checked?"

"Tasha did it." Hawkeye responded, not looking at BJ.

"Willingly?"

"I think she was asleep."

"Ah." BJ placed his empty glass on the still. "You want another?"

"Maybe later." Hawkeye continued to stare at the tent roof. BJ moved instantly, placing a hand on Hawkeye's forehead.

"You must be sick," He said jokingly. "Not wanting a drink." Hawkeye brushed BJ's hand off.

"I'm fine. I just don't want a drink," Hawkeye gave his friend a half-smile. "That's all."

"Alright." BJ said uncertainly. "But I'm not gonna let this go." He stood up.

"Is that a challenge?" Hawkeye asked. BJ grinned, glad to see some of the old Hawkeye rearing his head.

"But of course." BJ left and Hawkeye returned to staring at the drab green roof.

"Getting so a man can't mope in peace around here." Hawkeye muttered to himself.

* * *

"You're late." Winchester greeted BJ as the tall Californian entered Post-Op.

"You're supposed to say hello first, Charles." BJ responded, picking up one of the charts.

"Hello. You're late."

"Much better." BJ praised. Winchester glared at him, then walked towards the door.

"I'm surrounded by idiocy," Winchester fired back as he left.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tasha called from the other side of the room. When she got no response. "Ha! No come back, eh?"

"Bit hard when your not in the room."

"Ah. Excuses."

"It's a pretty good one."

"Are you sticking up for Charles?" Tasha asked, picking up a chart.

"Someone has to." BJ shrugged good-naturedly. Tasha raised an eyebrow and continued on without another word. They continued in silence for a few more minutes.

"Hey, did Hawkeye come see you last night?" BJ asked, leaning on the bed frame at the end of a cot where Tasha was checking a patient.

She glanced up at him. "What's he been telling you?"

"He hurt his arm at the aid station, said you stitched it up." BJ watched Tasha's reaction carefully as her hands stopped moving.

"That's right." She responded, stuffing her stethoscope into her coat pocket. She slipped past BJ and back into the isle.

"What do you know?" BJ followed her to the desk where she started scribbling down information on a chart. "Tasha,"

"About Pierce?"

"Yeah." Tasha replaced the chart and moved to the next bed with BJ still following.

"Very little."

"Don't get cute."

"I can't help it."

"Natasha." She looked at BJ and saw the look on his face.

"Alright," She drawled. "I promised I'd wouldn't say anything, but if he's already told you…" She trailed off, biting her lip.

"Yes," He encouraged her.

"Follow me," BJ followed her into the lab and watched as she rummaged around in the jars on the shelf.

"It's kinda gross," Tasha said, almost to herself. She pulled out one of the jars. "Ah, here we go." She held it up.

"Shrapnel?" BJ peered at the contents. "What's that other bit?" Tasha opened the jar and pulled the object out with a pair of tweezers. "Bone fragment." BJ's brow wrinkled.

"Oh, no," Tasha quickly reassured him. "It's not his."

"How do you know."

"Because it's a bit of skull and his head's pretty much intact." BJ ignored Tasha's jab.

"Then where'd it come from?"

* * *

Please Review! 


	5. Voices

Disclaimer: If a man says something in the woods, and there is no woman around … is he still wrong?

* * *

When BJ returned to the swamp he found Hawkeye in exactly the same place he'd left him, staring at the tent roof. 

"Have you moved?" He asked. When Hawkeye didn't answer he tried again. "Hello?"

"What? Oh BJ, aren't you meant to be in post-op?"

"I was, for four hours, my shifts over."

"It is?"

"Have you been lying there the whole time?"

"I guess so."

"Hawk, what's bugging you?"

"There is nothing wrong."

"You're lying."

"No I'm not. Drink?"

"Please." Hawkeye poured two drinks and handed one to BJ. "Here's to friends."

"Friends." They clinked glasses and drank. BJ set his glass down.

"How'd your arm get hurt?"

Hawkeye gave him a look. "We went through this. It's a roof scratch."

"Since when do rooves have bone in them?" Hawkeye blinked at that.

"What?"

"You had a bone fragment in your arm." BJ watched as the colour literarily drained from Hawkeye's face. "Hawk?"

Hawkeye stood up. "I have to go."

"Hawkeye!" BJ called, going after him.

* * *

Hawkeye sat on the ridge overlooking the camp, a half-empty bottle of scotch sitting next to him. He wasn't too sure just how he got there, but, there he was. Where the scotch came from was another mystery, but he wasn't complaining. 

From up there he could see the various personal going about their business. He picked up the bottle and took a drink from it. Why couldn't they leave him alone? All he wanted to do was to be left alone.

Hawkeye stared at his hands. He was a doctor. A healer. He wasn't supposed to hurt or kill people. For an instant, he saw blood. Then it was gone.

His hands were clean.

No. They weren't clean. They'd never be clean again. Some kid died because he screwed up.

But they wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't deserve forgiveness or pity, so he didn't tell them what happened. Not even BJ. BJ was a good friend. He didn't judge, he listened. Then, he gave his opinion which often went against what Hawkeye was thinking. BJ would say that it wasn't his fault. But it was. And Hawkeye would never let himself forget that.

From where he was sitting, he could see the camp spread out around him. All those people. Doing their jobs. Sure, they weren't happy about it. But they did it.

The scotch burned his throat as he drank from the bottle.

Hawkeye was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't noticed he had company until someone sat next to him.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

"Nothing."

"Then why're you here?"

"I always come up here ." Tasha responded, staring out at the view, her elbows resting on her knees. "The world doesn't revolve around you, Pierce."

"I know that."

"Is that from Winchester's stash?" She nodded at the bottle.

"No. Go away."

"Move me." Tasha took the bottle from Hawkeye. She swallowed a mouthful and handed the bottle back. "Not bad" She then commented. Hawkeye grunted and rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have anything else to do?"

Tasha closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, stretching her legs and leaning back on the palms of her hands. "Nope."

"Then find something."

"Make me."

"I will if I have too"

"Huh?" Tasha looked surprised at Hawkeye. She hadn't been expecting such a venomous response.

"Go. Away." Hawkeye said slowly, as though speaking to a small child.

"You go away."

"Fine." He snapped, standing up. Tasha eyed him.

"What crawled up your shorts?"

"Why can't you people just leave me alone!" Hawkeye said, his voice getting louder and louder. Tasha continued to eye him

"Calm down," She said.

"I don't want to calm down. I like being mad!"

Tasha rolled her eyes and looked back to the view. "Mad's right." She muttered.

"What was that?" Hawkeye snapped. Tasha was on her feet instantly, standing toe to toe with Hawkeye.

"They're right," She retorted. "You are crazy." With that, Tasha turned and left.

Hawkeye waited until she had disappeared before he sat down. He didn't mean to yell at her. He reached for the forgotten scotch. The bottle was half-way to his mouth when he stopped.

"They?" He said to himself. "Who else thinks I'm crazy?" He then considered something else. "Great. Now I'm talking to myself." And took another drink. _She's right._ Hawkeye looked around and saw no one. _You're hiding._ He blinked. There was no one anywhere near him.

"Okay. Now I'm hearing voices." _Yes you are._ "Huh, one's that talk back."

* * *

"Hawkeye!" BJ yelled, looking around him. "Where are you?" He turned around and almost walked into Tasha was coming from the direction of the chopper pad muttering darkly. 

"Watch it!" She snapped, giving BJ a heated look.

"What's with the storm cloud?"

"Oh, nothing." She shrugged it off. BJ eyed her.

"Right. Uh, have you seen Hawkeye?"

"The dweeb's up on the hill." She said, gesturing vaguely behind her before continuing on.

Hawkeye was right where Tasha had left him. BJ eyed the nearly-empty bottle as he approached. Hawkeye glanced over his shoulder and saw his bunkmate. _We don't need him._

"You want to tell me what's going on?" BJ finally asked. Hawkeye didn't acknowledge him, but he also didn't try and get rid of him. So BJ sat down and looked out over the camp, waiting patiently. Hawkeye ignored the bottle.

"You really want to know?" Hawkeye asked suddenly. BJ blinked.

"Yes. I do." _No he doesn't._

Hawkeye laughed. "Trust me. You don't." His laughter unnerved BJ.

"There you two are." Radar came up the hill, clipboard in hand.

"Here we are." Hawkeye said, soundingly a little irritated. _Little worm. He doesn't care._

"Colonel Potter's looking for you to."

"What ever it is, we didn't do it." BJ responded.

"He wants you in his office."

_He knows! _"Why?" Hawkeye asked, not looking at either of them.

"The Colonel didn't say." Radar shrugged. BJ looked at Hawkeye. _Don't go! They want to trap us!_

"May as well see what he wants."

"Why not." _We can't trust them._

* * *

They entered Potter's office and Hawkeye immediately made himself comfortable in one of the chairs. BJ was a little more hesitant, instead he leaned on the windowsill. 

"I got a call from the aid station you went to a few days ago, Hawkeye." Potter said, seeing no point in stalling. "They said you had a visit from a couple of North Korean officers while you were there." Potter stopped, Hawkeye said nothing.

"Is that what this is about?" BJ asked.

"One of them was injured." Hawkeye said, ignoring BJ. "That's all." _Liar_

"I got the feeling there was a lot more to it." Potter said, trying to keep his tone level.

"Is that what you called me here for?" Hawkeye scoffed, then looked at BJ. "Did you know anything about this?"

BJ held up his hands. "Not a thing." Hawkeye stood up and started to pace.

"You expect me to believe that? I mean, everyone thinks I've fallen off the wagon as it is. I'd expect a little more from you two." _They know what you did._

"Sit down, Pierce." Potter said sharply. Hawkeye hesitated, then continued pacing. "Listen to what you're saying." _Yes, listen. You sound crazy. Like she said._

"No. You listen!" Hawkeye's voice was getting louder and louder. "Why can't-" _Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. _"Oh would you shut up!" BJ and Potter exchanged a worried look.

"Who are you talking too?" BJ asked. Hawkeye paused.

"You two. Do you see anyone else?"

"No. Do you?" BJ teased.

"Who asked you!" _Can't trust him._

"You did." _See, he asks too much._

"Oh, gonna throw that back in my face, are you?" Hawkeye threw his hands in the air.

"Calm down, son." Potter said, half-standing. BJ was standing up straight. Concern for his best friend overwhelming him. "Why don't you sit down and tell us what's wrong." Hawkeye stopped mid-pace and turned to look at Potter.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" _There is. It's all your fault._

"Well-"

"There's nothing wrong. What makes you think something's wrong? There's nothing wrong!" His tone climbed again. He sat down and leaned on his knees. "I'm fine." _No. You're not._ "I'm fine." _They don't believe you._ "Fine…" He trailed off, staring at the floor.

"Hawkeye?" BJ asked, moving closer. Hawkeye looked up.

"Hey Beej." _He thinks your crazy._

"Wanna tell us what that was all about?" _They don't care._

"No." Hawkeye sounded subdued.

"It might help to talk." _Talking got one of them killed._

"I entirely doubt that." He said, looking away.

"You don't know until you try." Potter said, moving to the other side of the desk.

"Oh, talking only gets in you into trouble."

"What?" _See, they don't understand._

"Don't give me that!" Hawkeye's temper started flare again.

"Come on Hawk, you have to talk to us, we can't help you until you do." BJ sat it front of his friend. _It's all you're fault._

"I didn't ask for your help" Hawkeye snapped, standing up.

"Well, you're getting it"

"Give it to someone else, I'm leaving" Hawkeye walked towards the door.

"Pierce, get back here now!" Potter commanded, standing up. Hawkeye stopped.

"Is that an order?" He asked over his shoulder. _You're crazy. Crazy. Crazy._

"Yes."

"Well, I'm still going,"

"Pierce!" Potter yelled at the swinging door. He and BJ were silent for a moment.

"Well, that went well"

* * *

A/N: What do you think? 


	6. Making sense

Disclaimer: A disclaimer is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

* * *

"Good Afternoon, Pierce." Tasha greeted as she came from Post-Op. Hawkeye ignored her as he went in the opposite direction. "Or not." Tasha turned and trotted to catch up with Hawkeye. _Get rid of her._

"Get lost, Lewis."

"Last name, huh? You must be really pissed." _She has no idea._

"Don't you have something else to do?"

"Nope." Tasha responded cheerfully. _She's dangerous to us._

"Leave me alone!"

"Not likely." She continued to walk with him. Hawkeye's posture radiated general agitation and annoyance. _Make her leave!_

"Go annoy someone else."

"But your more fun." She baited him.

"Get lost," He snapped. "Please." He then said, his voice much softer and full of fear. Tasha stopped and Hawkeye continued walking. Now she was confused.

"Fricking fruit loop." She muttered and went back in the other direction.

* * *

Hawkeye lay on his cot, staring up at the roof of the tent. Around him he could hear his bunk-mates sleeping. It was past midnight, but for the past three hours he had been awake, unable to fall back to sleep.

When he finally couldn't take just lying there, he decided to go for a walk around the compound.

He sat up, swang his legs off the cot, and proceeded to pull his boots on.

Black clouds covered the sky, making it unusually dark.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"Me."

"Captain Pierce?"

"No, the King of Spain" _You wish._

"Where are you going on this gloomy night your highness?"

_Shoot yourself. _"Shoot myself,"

"That can be messy," Klinger responded, unsure if Hawkeye was kidding or not.

"That's true, Officer's Club then." _No!_

"Much better choice." Klinger nodded, adjusting his grip on his rifle. _No its not._

"I thought so."

"See you around." Klinger called as Hawkeye disappeared.

Klinger continued on his patrol.

A little while later the sky rumbled, threatening rain. Klinger stopped and looked up at the clouds. He shivered and pulled his imitation fur scarf closer around his neck. Days like this made him wish he was back home. Hell, all days made him wish he was back at home.

* * *

Hawkeye entered the officer's club. _Actually, this could work._

"Where is everybody?" He said to the empty room. When he didn't get an answer, he went to the back of the bar and removed two bottles of rum along with one glass. Hawkeye took these to a table and sat down. He carefully poured himself a drink, then picked up the bottle and drank from that.

A few hours later, just before sun-up, Hawkeye stumbled from the Officer's Club. He looked around. Klinger was long gone and his replacement was no where to be seen. Typical. No one around when he wanted some company. He decided to go and wake BJ. _No! We can't trust him._

The walk to the swamp proved more difficult than he remembered. First, the ground wouldn't keep still. He got quite dizzy and decided to take a break. He found himself outside Post-Op and went in.

This room was empty as well. This was not his night. So he moved on.

The next room was OR. _Find something sharp._

"Sharp?" _Yes. See, over there. _Hawkeye did as he was told and looked over the tray.

"Shiny." He marvelled, picking up a dish. _No! Sharp, not shiny._ It was shaped like a kidney. Hawkeye didn't like kidney. Liver was okay. He'd eaten a lot of that since he came to Korea. _Idiot._

Hawkeye felt tired. _Don't sleep!_

"Okay. What should we do then?"

"What are you doing in here?" Hawkeye spun around, nearly loosing his balance. He steadied himself on the table. _She's spying on us!_

"Trying to stand."

Tasha folded her arms. "I can see that. But why here?"

"Why not?"

"That doesn't answer the question."

"Why are you in here?" _She's following us._

"I was helping clean up, word is we'll be having guests soon." Tasha was eyeing Hawkeye warily. "Who were you talking to?" She then asked. _She knows!_

"No one. Maybe you're just hearing things." _Yes. Good._ Tasha relaxed a little and moved towards him.

"Could be. How come you're up?" Tasha asked as Hawkeye stumbled into her.

"Wanna play doctor?" Hawkeye asked. _Bah._

"You don't give up, do you?" Tasha carefully extracted herself from Hawkeye's grasp. "Go get some sleep."

"People always sleep." He said softly. Tasha led him through post-op.

"That's the way it works."

"Why don't you sleep?"

"What?"

"You're awake."

"I've already slept."

"Sometimes, they don't wake up." Hawkeye's tone was soft. "I wish it wasn't like that." _But it is._

"That would be nice." Tasha said, stopping. "Pierce, are you alright?"

"Why do they always ask that?"

" 'cause they're your friends." _See, she's not your friend!_

"I know that."

"Good." Tasha said, still uncertain. Hawkeye stared at her for a moment.

"Are you my friend?"

"More of an acquittance than a friend," They stopped outside the swamp. "Here you go," She opened the door. "You sleep in here."

"Okay." Hawkeye paused just inside the door. "Tasha?" She stopped and looked at him.

"Thanks." _No! She doesn't deserve it!_

"Don't mention it." A mischievous smile crept across her face. "I'll deny it." Hawkeye chuckled and went inside.

Sleep came a little easier this time. The alcohol helped to drown out the voice and the guilt.

Hawkeye's slumber was interrupted by the PA system.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL. ALL TEAMS REPORT TO OR. WE'VE GOT CHOPPERS AND JEEPS. GET 'EM WHILE THERE FRESH!"

Hawkeye groaned and sat up. BJ and Winchester were already outside so he went to join them. The sky was still dark and the occasional rumble reminded them that it could rain any moment.

"Clamp."

"Clamp."

"Suction."

"Sponge."

"Sponge."

"Hold this."

"Suction. No there."

"React that liver."

"There's more than one?" BJ asked, not looking up.

"In some people, there must be." Tasha responded.

"Clamp. No comments from you, Pierce?" Winchester asked as Baker handed him the clamp.

"Hawk?" BJ looked up when Hawkeye didn't respond.

"Sponge." Hawkeye said, ignoring them. Kelley obeyed the instruction quickly.

"Sponge." She echoed.

"Hawkeye?" Potter looked up as well. "You okay."

"I'm fine. Clamp." _You'll never be alright._

"Yeah right." Tasha muttered, dropping a piece of shrapnel into the dish next to her. _Noisy bitch._

"No one asked you." Hawkeye snapped. "Close for me." He then snapped at Kelley.

"Lay off, Hawk." BJ chidded good-naturedly.

"Why should I?"

"Because you being a arse."

"Watch the language." Potter warned.

"It's going somewhere?" BJ asked, grinning under his mask.

"Sorry, sir." Tasha responded quickly, dropping some more metal in the dish.

"Suck up." Hawkeye said.

"You need an attitude adjustment." Tasha retorted, throwing a glare over her shoulder.

"Like you can talk."

"I can." _She talks too much._

"I know," He muttered. Then said out loud. "Who knew."

"Lay off, Pierce." Potter warned as he closed his patient. "Klinger?" He then called.

"Yes, Mon Colonel." Klinger entered wearing a nurses outfit.

"Any more wounded?"

"Nope. You're all done." He responded, just as happy as the doctors and nurses.

"Thankyou." Winchester said to the ceiling as his patient was carried away.

* * *

Hawkeye stormed into the changing area and threw his soiled scrubs into the bins.

"What was that about ?" BJ asked as he pulled off his vest.

"Leave it, Hunnicutt" Hawkeye snapped. _They don't care!_

"Whoa, calm down," BJ responded, quite surprised with the venom in his friends voice.

"I am calm."

"Then what are you like mad?"

"Don't push it."

"Push what?" BJ asked as Hawkeye then stormed out. "What'd I do?" He called as Winchester and Potter came in.

"What's his problem?" Potter asked.

"Where do you start?" Winchester said. BJ looked darkly at him and Potter sighed when Winchester added: "Well, I hope its not catching."

"Shut up." BJ snapped as he went after Hawkeye.

"Looks like it is." Potter answered Winchester.

BJ caught up with Hawkeye just outside the swamp. He grabbed Hawkeye's shoulder and forced him to turn around.

"Talk to me!"

"You wouldn't understand," Hawkeye entered the swamp.

"Try me," BJ said as he followed.

"Just leave it,"

"Not until you tell me what's going with you"

"I got someone killed Beej," Hawkeye sat on his bunk, head in his hands.

"What?"

"I couldn't save either of them. " _No. You couldn't. You weren't good enough._

"Hawk…" BJ started, still uncertain as to what his friend was talking about. _We can't trust him._

"Beej, don't even try, they're dead, it's as simple as that,"

"That happens all the time, its not your fault" BJ tried to reassure him. _It is. It's all your fault!_

"It was supposed to be me. That kid would still be alive."

"What are you saying, Hawkeye? I don't understand." _You know what to do_

"I mean, would it of really been that bad?" Hawkeye asked, not listening to BJ. Then he looked up. _No, it wouldn't._

The tent was silent for a full minute as BJ processed just what Hawkeye was saying

"You don't mean that."

"Don't I?" _Do it!_

"Hawk, do you want to die?" BJ asked bluntly. Hawkeye stared blankly. "Hawkeye?"

"I'll get back to you." Hawkeye stood up and left.

A/N: Well? Does it meet with everyone's approval?


	7. Filler

Disclaimer: The wheels on the bus go round and round.

* * *

BJ's conversation with Hawkeye replayed his mind as he searched the camp for his friend. 

_Did Hawkeye really mean what he'd said?_ BJ reached the top of the ridge where he had found Hawkeye last time. Nothing. BJ stood there and looked across the camp for a moment before heading back down.

"BJ," BJ heard Potter calling and slowed down. "Where's Hawkeye?"

BJ shrugged. "No idea. But I'm worried about him." Potter nodded, looking grim.

"I had Radar put a call through to Sidney. He'll be here by tomorrow morning."

"Hopefully Hawkeye'll hold out until then." BJ said. Potter gave him a curious look.

"What do you mean?" BJ hesitated, then relayed the conversation he'd had with Hawkeye. Potter's expression was becoming grimmer by the second. "We'd better find him."

"And soon."

* * *

Hawkeye wandered aimlessly, lost in thought. 

Had he really meant what he'd said to BJ? _Yes you did._ And there was the voice. It was getting annoying. _Like you're any picnic._

"Who asked you?" He said aloud, ignoring the looks he was getting. _You don't deserve them. They are better off without you._ "Shut up!" He said a little louder than he meant to. The people around him stopped what they were doing to stare at him. "What? I can't talk to myself now?"

They just stared, not understanding a word the crazy American was saying. As he moved on, they started whispering to each other.

_'Was that one of those American doctors?'_

_'I think so.'_

_'Why was he talking to himself?'_

_'Who knows, they're all crazy.'_

Hawkeye was oblivious to the conversations around him. _They think you're crazy too._

"You speak Korean?" _No. But that's what they're saying._

"So you're a mind reader now?" There was no response. "Hello?"

Hawkeye then stopped walking and looked around. "Oh, this is just perfect." _You got us lost!_ The voice started to laugh. "It's not funny!" _Yes, it is._ "Shut up."


	8. Breaking

Disclaimer: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

A/N: The last one was a little short, but this should make up for it. Oh, and what's with ;)'s review? Does it make sense to anyone? (If it means something good, thankyou.)

~*~

It started with a low rumble then several patters.

This gave people the warning that it was about to rain.

Those that chose to listen to it made for the nearest shelter to avoid getting wet. Those that were looking for missing surgeons didn't have the luxury of seeking shelter.

After searching the camp, BJ and Potter recruited the assistance of Winchester, Klinger and Tasha.

Winchester's suggestion that they call the MP's and let them deal with Hawkeye was met with a very loud no and four dark looks.

~*~

"How come Major Winchester doesn't have to look?" Klinger complained as they entered the abandoned section of Uijongbu.

"Because our brave resident blue blood volunteered to watch the shop." Tasha stated, pulling her jacket closer.

"Colonel Potter's doing that as well." BJ pointed out, his nerves a little frayed by the thoughts rushing through his head.

"And you're here because you were standing too close to the conversation." Tasha directed at Klinger.

"Oh, that explains it." Klinger responded sarcastically. Tasha chuckled then eyed BJ when he didn't make any comment.

"Do you think he found some shelter?" BJ asked them.

"He'll be fine." Klinger reassured the tall doctor. "Hawkeye's tough." 

Tasha snorted, but made no comment.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" BJ suddenly turned on Tasha. The female surgeon glared at him from under her jacket hood.

"It means that we're walking around in the rain looking for a guy who's probably back at camp laughing at us."

"No. He's not. He's out there." BJ gestured angrily around them. "Trying to think of a way to-" He trailed off when he saw the way both Klinger and Tasha were looking at him.

"Way to what?" Tasha prompted when BJ remained silent.

"What's he gonna do?" Klinger asked warily, his gaze moving between the two surgeons.

"Yeah, BJ." Tasha was staring straight at him. "What's he gonna do?"

BJ tensed his shoulders and returned her intense stare.

"We just have to find him," BJ said. "As soon as possible." He quickened his pace, leaving Tasha and Klinger to come to their own conclusions.

"Wait up!" Klinger called, Tasha following in his wake.

~*~

Klinger poked his head into the first hut on the deserted street. The holes in the side of it may have had something to do with the fact that it was empty. He moved on to the next one. On the other side of the street, an equally soaked Tasha was doing the same. BJ was at the other end of the street. Klinger couldn't see his distressed expression.

Half way down the road, Klinger was getting fed up with walking around in the rain. He ducked into the nearest hut and found who they were looking for.

"BJ! Tasha!" He called outside, then turned back inside.

"Who asked you!" Hawkeye exclaimed, pacing in the back of the hut.

"Asked me to do what?" Klinger asked.

"Its none of your business!"

"Forget it then."

"I couldn't have done any better!"

It suddenly dawned on Klinger that Hawkeye wasn't talking to him, but to himself.

"Sir?"

"Oh, hey Klinger," He said listlessly. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

"You found me." Hawkeye said distractedly as Tasha appeared behind Klinger, quickly followed by BJ. "Oh, hey Tash, hey Beej."

"He's talking to himself." Klinger hissed. Tasha slipped past Klinger.

"You're wet." Hawkeye informed them.

"Ya think?"

"You're wet too." Klinger stated.

"Oh, I hadn't noticed."

"It is raining." BJ observed wryly. His concern for Hawkeye's state of mind was showing in his expression.

"Not now. Oh, no. No. No. You are not trying that again."

"Hawk?" BJ ventured closer as Tasha and Klinger stayed near the door.

"It's dark in here." Hawkeye said as he stopped pacing, his attention fully on the people in the hut with him.

"That's cause the light's not on." Tasha stated bluntly, moving to lean on the wall near the window. Hawkeye's gaze flicked from BJ to Tasha as she moved, then back to BJ when she settled.

"You shouldn't have followed me." Hawkeye said. His gaze flicked to Klinger who shifted uncomfortably. BJ had his back to the Lebanese, so he didn't see Klinger's expression. Tasha, however, did and moved back towards Klinger as BJ put his jacket over Hawkeye's shoulders.

"Klinger, why don't you go and let Potter know we've found him." She suggested. "And bring back a tranquilliser if you can." She added in a lower tone. Klinger gave her a grateful look.

"I'll be back as quick as I can." He said before pulling his hood up over his head and disappearing back into the rain.

"Where's he going?" Hawkeye asked BJ.

"Nowhere important." Tasha said, staying by the door.

"Yeah, of course." Hawkeye returned to his muttering and pacing.

"Hawk?" BJ tried again, moving to replace the jacket that Hawkeye brushed off.

"No!" He yelled, startling BJ and Tasha. "Don't touch me!" Hawkeye pushed roughly past BJ and made for the door. Tasha intercepted and refused to budge. "Get out of my way."

"No. It's wet outside-"

"I have to get out of here!" Hawkeye interrupted.

"-and you're not going out there." She finished, noticing his agitation. Hawkeye shoved her to the side and heard her yelp. He walked outside as BJ paused to help Tasha to her feet.

BJ looked outside and saw that Hawkeye had stopped walking and was standing in the rain with his back to them.

"I am going to have to punch him now." Tasha stated calmly as she dusted herself off.

"Leave it till later." BJ said, giving Tasha a warning look.

"Oh, I plan too." They both looked out the door to see Hawkeye starting to walk away. "Saving it for another rainy day." She added softly as BJ went out the door, yelling after the rapidly disappearing Hawkeye. Tasha raised her eyebrows and picked up BJ's discarded jacket before going after them.

~*~


	9. Revealing truths

Disclaimer: The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short. 

Maraena: What makes these people think Hawkeye's gone crazy?

SilverFalcon4: You have read the story, haven't you?

Maraena: I wrote it.

SilverFalcon4: So did I.

Maraena: I mean, he's just talking to 'himself' and wandering off in the rain. We've all done it.

SilverFalcon4: Sure we have backs away nervously

Maraena: Where are you going?

SilverFalcon4: To start the story.

Voice: _Idiots._

SilverFalcon4: What did you say?

Maraena: looks up from computer huh?

SilverFalcon4: rolls eyes Never mind.

~*~

When Tasha finally located BJ and Hawkeye, she was only mildly surprised to find them fighting. They hadn't come to blows yet, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't be too far off.

"No one asked you!" Hawkeye yelled.

"Too bad!" BJ snarled.

"You have no idea what its like! How would you understand!" Hawkeye ranted back.

"How can I understand if you won't talk to me!" BJ looked ready to deck Hawkeye. Tasha decided that it would be a good time to step in before stitches were required.

"Guys?" She called, slinging BJ's jacket over her shoulder as she came towards them. Both verbal combatants stopped and glared at her. Only BJ's gaze softened to a lower level of mad. "Maybe you should finish yelling at each other somewhere a little bit drier?"

"Good idea." Hawkeye said and went into the nearest hut. BJ's shoulder's sagged in defeat.

"I have no idea what to do," He said, sounding quite reluctant. "He just keeps saying that we won't understand."

At first, Tasha didn't respond. She just stared at the hut Hawkeye had gone into.

"He's your friend."

"That's what makes this so hard."

"What'd you mean?"

"He's beating himself up over something he won't even talk about, and I don't know how to help him."

"Being there is probably the biggest help." Tasha stated. "Sometimes that's all it takes."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

Tasha eyed him mildly. "Maybe. Go and talk to him." BJ studied her for a moment before turning and going into the hut. Tasha turned her attention back to her surroundings. The rain looked like it was letting up a bit as she ducked under an awning on a shed on the other side of the road from the hut where the two surgeons were talking. She stared at the hut then looked back out to wait for Colonel Potter.

Hawkeye paced the back of the hut._ They're leaving you._

"No they're not!"

"We're not what?" 

"Where'd you come from?"

"Outside." BJ responded calmly. "Now talk to me, _please_"

"You won't understand." _He's going to hate you._ "No he won't." BJ chose to ignore the strange comment. 

"Then tell me so I can try." BJ said.

Hawkeye remained silent for a moment, thinking things over. He then sat down with a thump. BJ joined him. _No! Don't say anything!_

"Alright," Hawkeye agreed. "I'm ready to try anything at this point." Then he told his best friend everything…

~*~

A/N: I know. Really mean. But you will find out what happened. Please R&R. And it was a little short, but this was more of a filler and means that the next chapter will be much longer.

Thanks for answering my question about the Smeagol thingy. I was a bit baffled about it. Oh, and what do you guys think of Tasha? No ones made much comment about her presence.


	10. Talking

Disclaimer: There's a story, what more do you want?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

A/N: It is interesting to see what you guys think about Tasha. And I'm glad that you're being honest about her. But I would like to hear more…

~*~

"They're not here." Potter stated bluntly. Klinger looked over the Colonel's shoulder.

"I left them right here!"

"Well they're not here now." Potter growled. His mood had been low already and now he was out in the cold, miserable weather looking for _three_ surgeons. Usually it was just two.

"Colonel!" Both men ducked out of the hut to see Tasha trotting towards them. Her dark hair was plastered to her face and her clothes were soaked.

"Look who's finally decided to show up,"

Tasha only inclined her head slightly at Potters tone. "Sorry, sir,"

"It's alright," Potter shook his head. "Where is he?"

"Having a heart to heart with BJ a couple of huts up the road." Tasha responded, gesturing vaguely into the rain. Potter's shoulders visibly slumped with relief.

"You still want this?" Klinger asked them both, slipping a small case out of his pocket.

"Hold on to it," Potter said. "Just in case."

"You'll need it." Tasha said in a not unkind way. Both men eyed her curiously.

Potter wrinkled his nose at the idea of going back out into the rain. "We'd better go round them up." 

~*~

A few minutes later, Tasha led Klinger and Potter to the hut. BJ was leaning on the wall, staring out at the rain and Hawkeye was sitting in the corner.

BJ smiled slightly as they came in. "He told me what happened, but hasn't said a word since." Potter knelt in front of Hawkeye.

"You alright, son?" He asked gently. Hawkeye stared at Potter with glazed eyes.

"Oh, Colonel," Hawkeye's eyes came back into focus. "You're here."

"That's right, you want to come back to camp?"

"That's alright, I'll stay here." Hawkeye responded. Tasha rolled her eyes and folded her arms. Potter caught the movement and glared at her before she could make any comment.

"We need you back at camp," Potter said, eyeing Tasha out of the corner of his eye.

"What for?"

"The Officer's club is overstocked." Tasha blurted out.

"Captain!" Potter growled, and then more softly said, "Go and see if Major Freedman's arrived."

"But its raining." She pointed out.

"Then swim!" Tasha disappeared outside, grumbling under her breath. "I heard that!"

Klinger moved silently towards BJ and handed him the small case.

"You know, I could try ordering you to come back." Potter stated.

"You could." Hawkeye said.

"But you've never been very good at following orders before."

"No kidding." Klinger said, putting in his two cents to the conversation.

"That is very - BJ what are you doing?" Hawkeye said when a syringe suddenly appeared in his arm.

"Just giving you a little something." BJ said, pressing the end of the syringe.

"Oh. Well, a little warning would have been nice." Hawkeye stood up, a little annoyed with the subterfuge. Potter quickly stood to avoid Hawkeye tripping over him.

"It ruins the surprise." Klinger stated, moving in as Hawkeye lost his balance and started to fall face first.

"I don't like surprises." Hawkeye muttered as his eyes drooped and the sedative took effect. BJ and Klinger caught him on either side.

"Now what?" Klinger asked.

"Now we take him back to camp," Potter stated and lead them back into the rain. "And hope that Sidney can help him."

All present who were conscious agreed.

~*~

One thing I've noticed about a lot of the O/C characters in the M*A*S*H fanfic is that the person always gets along with the surgeons. Any insights into this little phenomenon?


	11. Wet Shoes

Disclaimer: You do that. I'll sit over here and take as many cheap shots as I can

A/N: Man, this is stretching out. Ah well, you lot'll be happy.

~*~

Winchester was in Post-Op, waiting for his colleges to return with his usual enthusiasm. When Tasha returned the only thing that made him look up was the fact that she was squelching.

"You're dripping." He stated, eyeing the sodden woman with a distinctly distasteful look.

"How observant of you." Was the dry response.

"Did you find him?" Margaret came into Post-Op looking flustered. Tasha expertly smothered a grin at the Head Nurse's worry.

"When'd you get back?" Tasha queried, peeling off her jacket.

"Well? Is he alright?" Was the impatient reply.

"They should be back soon." Tasha said as she walked past Winchester and Margaret.

"Did something happen?" Margaret followed her out of Post Op and into the supply closet. Tasha found a towel and used it to squeeze the water out of her hair.

"As far as I know, nothings wrong," Tasha finally said. "Is Major Freedman here yet?"

"Uh, he just arrived," Margaret said, taking the damp towel from Tasha and putting it on the table.

"Where is he?"

"In the VIP tent." Margaret responded distractedly, her mind racing at what could have possibly happened to Hawkeye.

Tasha scooped up the wet jacket and left to find some dry clothes. Margaret followed Tasha back out into Post Op.

"I always knew he was mad." Winchester commented as the woman walked past.

Margaret threw him a poisonous look. "Blow it out your ear."

Major Sidney Freedman was sitting reading a rather thick file. What Colonel Potter had told him about Hawkeye's behaviour had him worried. It shouldn't have, the tall surgeon had proved that he could bounce back from most situations, the file he was reading proved that. This little field trip into Hawkeye's psyche was going to be … interesting.

A knocking on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"Come in," Sidney called, closing the file and placing it on the side table.

"Major Freedman?" A female voice called.

"Yes?" He was curious now. The owner of the voice peered around the door. Sidney didn't recognise her, so guess she was the Natasha Lewis Hawkeye was always complaining about.

"I'm Captain Lewis," She entered hesitantly. "They've got Captain Pierce in Post-Op."

Sidney immediately started forward. Tasha jumped back and quickly fell into step with Sidney.

"What's his behaviour been like?" Sidney asked, watching her reactions with interest.

Tasha thought about this, "Distracted." Was the first thing that came to mind. "And scared."

~*~

Sorry about the length guys, but the next one should be good.

R&R Please.


	12. Dreaming

Disclaimer: Damn the jellyfish! Damn all the jellyfish!

A/N: How bad an idea is bobbing for jellyfish? Watch Jackass and find out.

Sorry. I saw the episode and felt that I had to mention this. Idiot's for entertainment. Johnny Knoxville is God.

SilverFalcon4: That has nothing to do with this, though it is true.

Maraena: They're idiots?

SilverFalcon4: No. Knoxville is God.

Maraena: And you call me weird.

SilverFalcon4: But you are

Maraena: That is true.

SilverFalcon4: Do you think they'll like this chapter?

Maraena: They'd better. We've been working hard on it. Four bloody rewrites.

SilverFalcon4: Oh, and why are you so happy no one likes Tasha?

Maraena: gleeful All part of the master plan my little friend.

SilverFalcon4: And that is?

Maraena: I can't tell you yet

SilverFalcon4: You don't know what it is, do you?

Maraena: Who says I don't?

SilverFalcon4: Right

~*~

Hawkeye opened his eyes. He was standing on the edge of a cliff, looking out over a darkened landscape. Above him, big black clouds threatened a downpour and below him… he couldn't see anything. Just the same black clouds. He turned, expecting at least something. But no. Not a thing.

Was he dead? Was this the afterlife? Hawkeye had been expecting something a little more… cheerful.

"You're not dead." A voice stated bluntly. Hawkeye turned to the source of it.

"Really?" He called. A blurry figure was coming out of the fog, Hawkeye could only make out a shape that was most definitely feminine.

"No. You're…" There was a pause.

"Dreaming?" Hawkeye suggested, taking a step away from the cliff.

"Something like that." The owner of the voice came into view and Hawkeye's confused expression turned to an annoyed one.

"What're you doing here?" He demanded as Tasha stopped about eight feet from him.

"It's a long way down." She commented, nodding towards the cliff edge behind him. "Are you going to jump?"

"Excuse me?" Hawkeye was amazed at her audacity. She just stared at him.

"Are you going to jump?" Her expression was frank and open. She seemed curious about what he was planning to do.

"Oh, you've got some nerve-" He stopped mid-sentence when another figure made its way out of the fog. Tasha was staring at the new comer as well.

"You had better decide." She spoke without looking at him.

"You still haven't told me why you're here." Hawkeye took another step from the edge. He wanted a straight answer from her. 

Tasha looked away from the figure and back to Hawkeye. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"To annoy me?"

"Ha. No."

"Why won't you give me a straight answer?"

"Ans-"

"Too Late." A sing-song voice echoed through the strange landscape.

Hawkeye looked to Tasha for some sort of explanation. Before he could question her about the odd voice, he was suddenly back at the edge of the cliff.

"Tasha!" He yelled as he lost his balance and started to fall. Damn her, she was probably watching him from the fog instead of helping him.

And as quickly as he started to fall, he was pulled back up.

"Hawk, you okay?"

Hawkeye was practically dancing for joy when he saw who had pulled him up.

"Beej!" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"You nearly fell over," BJ said, a worried expression on his features. "Why were you standing that close to the edge?"

Hawkeye's glee dimmed slightly. "You too?"

"Where you going to jump?" BJ's voice held more worry than Tasha's had, but it was still the same question.

"What sort of question is that?"

"A valid one."

"Why would I jump?"

"You tell me." BJ glanced at the cliff. "You were standing pretty close."

"Why is everyone so concerned about me standing too close to a cliff?"

"Because we care." Hawkeye looked in the direction of the new voice.

"Margaret?"

"None of us want to see you get hurt."

Hawkeye noted that BJ had vanished. "Margaret, what's going on?" Hawkeye moved away from the cliff. "Why're you here?"

Margaret looked so upset. Hawkeye hated to see her like that, especially when he was the cause.

"Please, come back. Don't jump." She pleaded, but didn't move.

Hawkeye stopped coming towards her as she spoke. 

__

Are you going to jump. 

Were you going to jump. 

Don't jump. 

He looked back at the cliff. What did it mean? The whole thing was starting to give him a headache.

"Starting to get it now?"

Hawkeye glowered at Tasha, then looked back at Margaret. She had gone.

"Where are they?" He demanded, placing more distance between himself and the stupid cliff.

"What gave you the idea that they were ever here?"

"Because I saw them and they spoke to me."

"Did you listen to them?"

Hawkeye opened his mouth then closed it again. "What does jumping mean?"

Tasha smiled. It wasn't a happy or spiteful one. It bordered somewhere between sadness and acceptance. "Jumping means you give up."

"Maybe I want to give up. Maybe I'm tired of everything." Hawkeye yelled. Damn it, she was really getting to him with her half answers and strange questions.

"Maybe?" She stuck her hands into her pockets and stared at him. "Sounds like you're not sure."

"Why do I have to decide now?"

"Because you're being given a choice." She began, and started to walk towards him. "If you jump, you give in and could possibly loose everything. Your job. Your friends. Your family. Your life." Tasha paused to let the information sink in. "And if you step into the fog, you get something back."

"What's so special about fog?"

"Do you know what's in the fog?"

"Of course not, you can't tell until it disappears," Sudden realisation hit him, he was beginning understand what she was meaning. "The fog represents the unknown," He looked over his shoulder again. "And the cliff is the way out." He blinked, then looked back at Tasha.

"That's right," Tasha inclined her head. "Have you decided?"

Hawkeye couldn't answer. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was that he couldn't. He felt weighed down and tired.

And he woke up.

~*~

Now wasn't that all confusing. Let me know if you get what this chapter meant.

R&R (Not rest and relaxation thankyou)


	13. Explaining

Disclaimer: Jack and Jill went up the hill…

A/N: Again, thanks for the great reviews. Oh, and to the guy who thought my teaser wasn't worth any mention. Firstly, you made an effort to comment on it. And secondly, nerts on you!

Oh, Hawkeye is awake now. I may rewrite this and insert that part, but right now, I cannot be bothered.

~*~

"It had to have been about eight hours into the final session." Hawkeye said, staring up at the ceiling as he stretched out on the cot in Sidney's tent. "When a North Korean officer was brought to the table. Shrapnel in his chest," He gave Sidney a sideways look. "Very messy."

"I can imagine." Sidney said. The psychiatrist sat across from Hawkeye on the other cot.

"So I started working on him," Hawkeye hesitated. "About ten minutes in he stopped breathing. Some of the fragments had gotten into his heart. The guy would never have made it."

"You go through that everyday, what made this different?"

"Oh, this one had friends. They weren't very happy when they found their colonel dead. Started yelling and one drew a gun." Hawkeye trailed off, caught up in the memory. Sidney didn't pressure him into talking and remained silent. "Tried to take the OR hostage." Hawkeye's voice wavered. "The oldest one couldn't have been more than nineteen. Chong was trying to talk them down and explained what had happened. But they wouldn't believe him."

"Then what happened?"

"One of them started yelling in English that I'd killed him. Then the gun was pointed at my head and I thought they were going to kill me."

"Then what?"

"One of the others, I think he was in charge, made him stop." Hawkeye absently rubbed the bandage on his arm, talking about it had made him remember it was there. "They started talking," He looked at Sidney again. "Then the first guy held the gun in my hand. It was aimed at one of the orderlies. Damn, the poor guy was just about wetting himself." A ghost of a smile graced his features before disappearing. "Begging in Korean to the soldiers. So I tried to pull my hand loose."

As Hawkeye spoke, Sidney was discreetly writing in a small notebook. Everything he was being told had an eerily familiar ring to it.

"-the shot went wide and hit a kid who was coming in. His buddy took exception to him getting shot and fired on the guy standing next to me." Hawkeye stopped talking.

Sidney was silent for a moment. "Well, usually I would say something reassuring and insightful," He shrugged. "But I can't think of a thing."

"Oh, you're a big help." Hawkeye responded playfully.

"But, I have been told that talking about traumatic incidents can make you feel better."

"You've been told?" Hawkeye eyed him and Sidney chuckled.

"Bottling something like this up can make it worse." Sidney added. Hawkeye thought about this. 

"Hawkeye, if the two soldiers hadn't come in, what do you think would have happened?"

"They'd still be alive." Hawkeye said bluntly.

"No, to you."

"Ah, I suppose they either would have shot me or taken me prisoner."

"Which would have been worse?"

Hawkeye hesitated. He'd only heard what the Communists did to their prisoners, even the non-coms.

"I don't know." He finally said. "I supposed being taken prisoner would be worse, because if they shot me it would be over quicker." Sidney appeared satisfied with the response. "You know," Hawkeye's eyes glinted with their usual odd humour. "That did help."

"Glad I could help." Sidney responded.

"A-"

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL. INCOMING WOUNDED. WE'VE GOT JEEPS AND CHOPPERS. GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE STILL KICKIN'"

Hawkeye looked up and got to his feet. Sidney followed suit.

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I'll have too." Hawkeye said as he headed for the door.

"Hawkeye?" Sidney called. "There was nothing you could have done differently." 

"That doesn't change what happened." Hawkeye said as he disappeared out the door. It was clear he was eager to get going.

"It's not meant to." Sidney said to the empty room.

~*~

The atmosphere in O.R was much more tense than usual. Normally, there would be banter between the surgeons that would defuse the situation. The only talking was medical related.

"Clamp."

"Clamp."

"Suction."

"Suction."

"Retractor."

"Retractor."

"Is there an echo in here?" Potter finally asked in an attempt to break the ice.

"3.0 silk." Was Winchesters response.

"3.0 silk."

"Looks like it." BJ said. Tasha chuckled, causing BJ to look up at her.

Tasha gave BJ an innocent look. "Suction."

"Suction." Margaret responded, inserting the instrument into the patient.

"Sponge."

"Sponge."

"You're awfully quiet, Charles." BJ said as he dropped a piece of metal in the dish.

"Could we please have some silence?" Winchester answered, casting a dark look across OR.

"You alright?" Tasha asked, glancing up.

"I am fine." Winchester said. "I am just not interested in participating in one of your childish conversations."

"You usually do." BJ pointed out.

"Ha," Winchester sneered.

"Careful," Came Tasha's sing song tone. "The wind might change."

"Suction." Winchester scowled.

"Suction." Was the nurses response.

The double doors were pushed open and Hawkeye entered OR ready to operate. The banter paused as Hawkeye went to the empty table.

"How nice of you to finally join us." Winchester said, eyeing Hawkeye as he went past.

"Isn't it just." Hawkeye responded. "Rack 'em up." He then called to the two corpsmen coming in.

"You alright, son?" Potter asked as his patient was taken away. Margaret excused herself from Tasha's table and moved to join Hawkeye's team, Bigelow took her place in a seamless motion.

"Yuh, feel great." Hawkeye said, looking around at everyone before starting on his patient.

There was an uneasy silence for a moment before the background chatter picked back up and things seemed normal again.

~*~

R&R


	14. Not Over

Disclaimer: Uh…

Maraena: We're back!

SilverFalcon4: Maraena broke the computer!

Maraena: I did not!

SilverFalcon4: Then what happened?

Maraena: Stupid SpyWare

SilverFalcon: Right. Well, we're writing again, so here's another chapter

~*~

Sixteen hours later Hawkeye was in the swamp, seated in his chair. The only accessory was a martini glass which he was slowly swirling with the olive. In the tent, things were quiet. Winchester was in Post Op with Tasha and BJ was in the mess tent with Sidney. Although he looked calm and somewhat sleepy on the outside, inwardly Hawkeye was raging a private war.

__

They think you're alright now.

"I know." Hawkeye responded quietly, keeping an eye out for the others.

__

You have them.

"Leave me alone."

__

No. Those people want to put you away.

"I said, leave me alone." He said through clenched teeth.

__

You shouldn't have told the shrink anything.

"Sidney's alright."

__

He's going to make them put you away.

"No he won't."

As Hawkeye argued with the voice, he didn't see the shadowed, barely there figure standing outside the tent staring at him.

~*~

Short, I know. But it fills in space nicely.

R&R


	15. Annoying operating banter

Disclaimer: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I took a look at my last up date and…well… Please forgive me! I have some more chapters coming, but this is just little bit to tide you over. Comments and suggestions are always well-received. Flames will not be.

* * *

"Clamp."

"Suction."

"Sponge."

"Hold this."

"Suction. No there."

"I'm done." BJ stepped back and stretched, glad to be able to move freely. His patient was taken away and another replaced him.

"How old do you think this one is?" Hawkeye suddenly joined the conversation. He was currently working on a patient with Tasha. While he worked on removing the shredded bowl, she was busy removing a bullet from the kids head.

"Does it matter?" Came her testy response.

"Of course it does. They didn't ask to come here."

"Neither did we." BJ pointed out.

"Suction." Tasha said. "Rest it right there."

"He should be at home going on his first date," Hawkeye said. "Not having me going through his gut and you through his head."

"Stop talking, Pierce."

"Suction. Don't you care?"

"Leave her alone, Pierce," Winchester said. "She needs to focus." He then added in a slightly patronizing tone. Tasha ignored them both, sighed deeply and dropped a piece of metal in the tray at her elbow.

"I wasn't asking you." Hawkeye directed at Winchester then turned his attention back to Tasha. "Well? Suture, 2.0 silk. Don't you care?"

"Yes, Pierce. I do care." Was her tired response as she stitched closed the hole she'd made. "Sponge and Suture, 3.0 silk."

"Coulda fooled me." Hawkeye muttered, frowning down at his work.

Tasha glared at him and stood up. "I'm done. You want any help?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm fine." Hawkeye responded. It could be a tricky operation, but he was just about done. Tasha gave him one of her more lethal looks, looked down at the patient as he started closing and moved on to see if anyone else needed a hand. She ended up standing on the other side of Winchester's table, observing as he carefully removed metal resting on the heart he was working on. Completely ignoring everyone else, she remained silent, only occasionally asking Winchester questions. He was more than happy to show off and impart some of his wisdom on the other surgeon.

"Any plans for tonight, Hawk?" BJ finally spoke up as Tasha went to an empty table, receiving a new patient almost instantly.

"I'm painting my toenails." He stated, no trace of humour on the visible part of his face. "I plan to make them match my uniform."

"What uniform?"

"Clamp it, and hold that. I could use some extra hands here!" Tasha said suddenly, cutting off all other conversations. BJ was next to her in an instant, holding his hands out for a fresh pair of gloves. She shifted over, her hands still inside the chest of her patient. BJ barely noted the Nurse Turner had her hands in too, holding on to a different part of the chewed up organ.

"Clamp." The instrument appeared in BJ's hand.

"Get some suction in here." Tasha said at the same time.

"How's it look?" Hawkeye questioned, not looking up from his own patient.

"Not good." BJ responded. Margaret appeared on the other side of the table as if by magic.

"Welcome back." Tasha greeted her. "Get some clamps where Turner's hands are."

"Yes, Doctor" Margaret quickly complied, freeing Turner's hands.

"Okay," Tasha breathed a little easier. "Someone get some A+ ready, this guy's gonna be real thirsty soon."

Turner rushed off for the blood. Tasha's hand went out automatically to the tray next to her, then back into the opening. A moment later, a heavy clank could be heard.

"Is that all of it?" BJ asked her, looking around himself as he spoke.

"One more piece." She responded. "That bigger one was moving around."

"Causing more bleeders than you knew what to do with?" BJ guessed.

"Uh huh."

Crisis averted, BJ moved back to his table and Tasha started sewing her boy up.

* * *

An hour later, Tasha stormed out of Post Op, Hawkeye hot on her heels.

"I want a straight answer out of you!" He yelled, grabbing her arm which in turn caused her to stop.

"And I told you to take a hike!" She yelled back, pulling her arm free.

"You know, you have got to be the most stubbornest person I have ever met!"

"And you are most definitely the most pig-headed I have ever met!" With that, she spun on her heel and headed in the direction of her tent, banking on the fact that Hawkeye wouldn't follow her in.

"Hawkeye!" Lieutenant Foreman, one of the nurses, yelled. He stopped, hand inches away from Tasha's door. "Corporal Rogers' is bleeding out!"

Forgetting Tasha, he turned and bolted back to Post-Op, Foreman in his wake. Winchester barely had time to register Pierce and Nurse Foreman brush past him before they were gone again. He caught sight of a fuming Tasha disappearing into her tent and a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Something funny, Charles?" Winchester turned to see BJ coming towards him.

"Oh, just pondering what Natasha is going to do Pierce while I'm away." He said almost cheerfully, preceding BJ into their little slice of war zone.

* * *

R&R 


	16. Air Raids

Disclaimer: I don't own MASH. I own Tasha and anyone else you don't recognise.

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed on the last chapter. I hope to answer you question further into the story, so enjoy the ride till then!

* * *

Tasha sighed and crinked her neck. The day had started out so well. Minimal casualties, no intense sunshine or intense cold. It had been going towards a real nice day.

But then of course, some poor unlucky soul had gotten themselves stuck in an active minefield and partially separated from their foot. Just enough to be viable to attempt a patch-job and just enough damage to warrant three hours of crouching over said foot with a bizarre microscope that someone had jury-rigged, allowing her to reattach just enough of the small veins, arteries and tendons to keep the foot alive until he reached Tokyo.

And in those three hours, the sun had suddenly disappeared and the planes started flying overhead.

This in turn meant the ever reassuring cry of _'AIR RAID'_ every five minutes and her throwing herself over random patients to protect them from any potential debris.

Then nothing.

Tasha blinked, pulling herself back to her feet. She heard something hit the ground and twisted to look behind her then up at the ceiling.

"Oh goodie." She grumbled at the support beam. She turned to kid in the bed, who was still unconscious and did a quick check to make sure nothing had hit him. The two nurses on duty were quickly supplemented by another three slightly frazzled ones. All five checked everyone over and reported back that one had pulled most of his stitches in his panic. Badly enough that he'd need to go back into OR.

Tasha didn't hesitate, telling them to find her an Anaesthetist before rushing back to OR to scrub up.

And it had started out as such a nice day.

* * *

A long while later Tasha flopped onto her bunk, having left instructions to find another doctor if something went wrong. All she wanted to do was sleep.

But she couldn't. Every time she tried, her attention wavered towards the pile of unopened letters neatly stacked on her desk. They'd been sitting there since well before Pierce's little break down. Using the situation was a weak excuse, she knew that. But she really did not want to open them.

She scowled at them, wishing they'd burst into flames or disappear. When they didn't, she scowled some more, got up, opened a draw, shoved them in and slammed it shut.

Then she resumed her not falling asleep.

* * *

"Snap!" Hawkeye proclaimed, slamming his hand down on the pile of cards then moving his checker piece two squares.

His opponent frowned at the board then looked at him. "What's that move called?"

"The Smelvic Elbow." Hawkeye declared, noting the new move down on paper. BJ gave him a disbelieving look.

"That's not in the rules!"

"What rules?" Hawkeye grinned and reshuffled the deck.

Radar entered the tent, looking flustered and a little annoyed.

"Radar," BJ greeted the Corporal cheerfully. "What can we do for you?" He purposely ignored the childish look Hawkeye was giving him.

"Mail call, sirs." Radar snipped.

BJ and Hawkeye exchanged a look. "Something wrong, Radar?" Hawkeye asked, accepting the handful of letters and magazines.

"Captain Lewis started yelling at me." Radar told them, handing BJ his pile and leaving the absent Winchester's on his bunk.

"She yells at everyone, Radar." BJ told him, leafing through the envelopes.

"Yeah, but this time she got really mean!"

"What'd she say?"

"Well," Radar hesitated. "It wasn't what she said, but how she said it."

"Ah." Hawkeye said to BJ, who smiled slightly back. "Was it the '_leave or face my wrath_' or the '_get out of my face_' one?" Hawkeye placed a card on the new pile, intent on winning the game.

"Both, I mean, she was acting like it was my fault she was getting letters from her husb-" Radar stopped himself. He met the two Captain's curious stares with a slightly panicked one.

"Husband?" BJ was surprised. He never pictured their little force of nature as the type.

"She's married?" Hawkeye exclaimed in disbelief.

"It's in her file," Radar admitted. "But don't tell her I told you or she'll really be mad."

"She won't here it from us, Radar." Hawkeye promised sincerely.

Feeling a little better, Radar made for the door. "See you later." He called as he went to finish his deliveries.

* * *

"So, what's his name?"

Tasha stopped midchew as Hawkeye slid onto the bench next to her. She swallowed and gave him a slightly baffled look. "Excuse me?"

"The guy your married to," Hawkeye's eyes were oddly a glitter with the idea of finding out new information about her. "Don't tell me you've forgotten his name already."

"No," She responded slowly. "I just don't see what business it is of yours." She poked the green stuff on her tray, not looking at Hawkeye.

"It's-"

There was an almighty explosion and Hawkeye yanked Tasha under the table before either surgeon knew what was happening.

"Don't they take dinner breaks?" Tasha questioned in frustration as soon as the shaking stopped. Hawkeye glanced at her, his hand on her back as the camp rocked again.

"They eat on the plane." Hawkeye responded, peering over the benches at the other personnel.

"Do you always have a comeback?"

He opened his mouth to retort when there was another hit and the tray Tasha had been eating from came crashing down. They both turned suddenly, nearly bumping heads. The green stuff Tasha had been poking was sticking stubbornly to the tray, her fork still stuck in it.

As quickly as it began, it finished, leaving the base personnel to clean up after them.

The worst injury was to one of the passing Marines, a superficial cut to the head, which was patched up with minimal discomfort on both sides.

The meeting in Potter's office not long after was a lot more uncomfortable. Winchester and Margaret came in to find Potter yelling down the phone line, BJ and Hawkeye re-righting a bookcase and Tasha leaning against the filing cabinet.

"You're just in time for the floor show." Tasha told them, looking quite unruffled about any of the recent events.

"You do love to stir, don't you, Captain?" Winchester asked, gesturing for Margaret to take a seat before taking the other one for himself. Tasha only smiled.

Everyone's attention immediately went to Potter when he slammed down the phone.

"Did you find out what happened, Colonel?" Margaret asked.

"Yes I did," Potter spat. "Apparently, we're supposed to be five miles thata-way," He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "But I managed to convince the unit commander that we are a MASH unit, then he informed me that we weren't supposed to be bombed."

"How astute of them." Hawkeye said, not the least bit impressed.

Potter looked over his staff.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONEL. AMBULANCE IN THE COMPOUND. ALL MEDICAL TEAMS TO O.R."

"You think this is their way of apologising?"

R&R


	17. Refugees

Disclaimer: No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved

* * *

It was quiet on the ridge. The air was still and the fog had only just lifted, leaving the camp covered in a light dew. 

Anywhere else, it would have been quite pretty.

Tasha had been there since just before dawn when Radar had woken her to take an important phone call from Tokyo. She only knew one person in Tokyo that would wake her at four in the morning.

So, she'd spent the last few hours on the ridge on the edge of the camp, watching the early morning goings on. She'd watched Hawkeye and BJ going into Post-Op and Winchester go to the Mess Tent. She'd been momentarily startled when a chopper arrived and left with two wounded. And she'd completely lost track of time.

* * *

Post Op was quiet. Very quiet. All the patients still there were either unconscious or didn't speak a word of English, meaning none of them could hold up their end of a conversation. 

"You know, I'd give almost anything for any of them to talk back." Hawkeye said after his fifth attempt at a conversation. The Korean man just stared at him, looking quite perturbed by the American.

BJ chuckled, and smiled at the Asian teen he was checking. The boy smiled cautiously back.

"Where's Tasha?" Hawkeye suddenly asked, standing up.

"Why do you care?" BJ queried, not looking up as he moved on to the next bed.

"I don't, it's just that she's usually flitting in and out whenever we get refugee's in here." Hawkeye stated after giving BJ a mean look.

BJ placed a chart back on its hook, frowning. "That is true, and I haven't seen her around at all this morning."

Hawkeye shrugged whatever he was thinking off. "She's probably just sulking around somewhere."

"Yeah, she'll turn up." BJ agreed.

* * *

It was mid-morning before anyone noticed Tasha hadn't been in camp, and by then she was on her way back down. She still hadn't come to any conclusion about what she was going to do, deciding to play it by ear instead. _Yeah. Because that's always worked before. _She thought acerbically to herself as she bypassed the mess tent and went into Post Op. Time to go and be the nice reassuring foreigner to the locals. 

"Any problems?" She asked the on duty nurse - Fuller - as the woman sat at the desk.

"No," The other woman responded, sounding almost surprised. "They've been pretty well behaved." Tasha smiled pleasantly. "Why don't you go and get yourself some coffee?"

"Uh, sure. Thankyou Doctor."

Tasha only waved her off then went on a meander through Post-Op. She'd been meaning to this before, but had gotten sidetracked.

Smiling in what she hoped was a disarming manner, she pushed her hands into her pockets and looked around the room. None of the soldiers looked like they were going to wake up soon, so she started._"Okay everyone, I'm Doctor Lewis and I'm just going to double check that everyone's information is correct. Now, is everyone okay with that?"_ She asked in Korean, getting more than a few surprised looks from the non-English patients, though they all answered affirmatively_. "Okay, good. I'll work my way around the room and if you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them. Alright?"_ Tasha nodded, satisfied and moved to the first bed, taking the clipboard from the end and a pencil from her pocket.

She asked in Korean, getting more than a few surprised looks from the non-English patients, though they all answered affirmatively. Tasha nodded, satisfied and moved to the first bed, taking the clipboard from the end and a pencil from her pocket. 

While she worked, she was completely unaware that she was being observed.

* * *

He had been there for quite some time, though no one knew it. He liked it that way. It kept everyone on their toes and less likely to betray their government. 

But this was an American Military base, hospital or no. It puzzled him that a non-American Doctor was assigned here, especially one that had no ties to the United States. Though he didn't show it. No, there was very little that got past a true red-blooded American like himself.

And the fact that she was there by herself raised even more questions. She'd dismissed the nurse in the room a little too quickly. Coffee indeed.

The woman was talking to the Korean patient, who was talking hesitantly back to her. She made a note on the chart she was holding.

She patted the Korean on the leg, smiled, spoke again and stood up, replacing the chart. He continued his observations as she picked up the next chart. Then she stopped and frowned at the chart, turning her head in his direction just as he vanished as if he'd never been there.

* * *

Tasha looked up as Fuller came back in with her coffee. The nurse walked right up to her and looked at the final patient chart she was holding. 

"Are the details correct?" Fuller queried casually, knowing the Doctor's habit of double checking any non-English speaking patients charts, even if they weren't her patient. The other Doctor's didn't mind too much, especially since she'd started doing it when they weren't around. And it did help out a lot if families got split up or they came in again.

"Yeah," She turned to look at Fuller. "I haven't had to completely redo any of them."

Fuller smirked, knowing Tasha was only joshing her. "Good to know."

Both women turned when the door opened, omitting Margaret. Fuller's relaxed demeanour evaporated almost on cue. "Are the charts in order?" The Major asked briskly.

"Mm hmm," Tasha responded, as Fuller went back to the desk and the paper work still sitting there. "There were just a few errors, nothing big." She added.

"Alright," Margaret said. "Do any of them need anything?"

"Uh," Tasha took a quick look around. "No one asked for anything, but I can come back later if you like?"

"That would be helpful, Captain, thank you."

"Not a problem, Major. Give me a yell if you need me." She added, waving slightly over her shoulder. Once outside, she mused over just how uncomfortable they both were. Tasha hadn't been there that long, but she'd never been able to find almost any common ground with the blonde Major. Sure, they both we used to getting their way and spoke their minds, but that was about it.

She left those thoughts alone and looked around before deciding to tempt fate in the mess tent.

Across the other side of the camp, the same man who'd been watching Tasha before, stepped stealthily out from behind the supply tent. His eyes fixed on his target.

Soon, he would be ready. He had found his traitor, and he had no intention of letting any of the bleeding heart Liberals in this MASH stop him in making this War a whole lot safer.

* * *

R&R 


	18. Squinty Eyes

Disclaimer: Bad clown! Clown get the sack, clown work at discount shops

A/N: Well, heres another one. Please let me know if I'm falling off the track on this. Mm-Kay?

* * *

It had taken her most of the day to figure out that there was really someone following her. She was not at all impressed with the idea either.

"Hey, Tasha." BJ greeted her. She turned and saw that he was approaching her with a rather pallor looking Hawkeye in tow.

"Morning," She drawled back, eyeing Hawkeye. "Have a fun night?"

"No more than usual." He responded, not feeling up to being baited by her. "You do anything exciting?"

"Corporal Wright threw up on me." She responded, daring him to comment.

"An all round evening then?"

"Where're you heading?" BJ butted in, heading off any confrontation.

"Thinking of trying my luck in the mess tent." She said, sticking her hands in her pockets. "There was a rumour going around that they're gonna serve something that didn't come from World War Two."

"Sounds delicious." Hawkeye commented dryly.

"I'll leave you two to it," BJ suddenly said, as if remembering something. "I've just gotta check in on something."

"He's stable, BJ." Tasha responded, taking a hand from her warm pocket to push a braid back over her shoulder.

"Go!" Hawkeye suddenly ordered, making shooing motions at his friend. "Check on him before you burst!"

"I'll catch up," BJ promised, disappearing into Post-Op.

Tasha gave Hawkeye a look. "The kid's gonna be fine." She told him.

Hawkeye shrugged as they started walking. "He was going to drive himself up the wall if he didn't see for himself."

"Ah."

"Come on, lets get there before they run out."

"Oh, perish the thought."

* * *

"The rumours were true," Hawkeye stated to the table. "This isn't from World War Two, its from before that." He prodded something that looked like straw. "What is this?"

Tasha held up a fork full of the same thing from her own tray. "Hash." She stuck it in her mouth and chewed it, watching Hawkeye's disgusted expression with something boarding on amusement.

"And the stuff trying to crawl off the tray?"

"Looks like it used to be some sort of vegetable."

"Some sort?"

"Yeah. But if its not moving, it shouldn't kill you, in theory anyway."

"Theory? Why doesn't that sound too reassuring?"

"It's not meant to be." She said wryly. "You're jelly's trying to eat your eggs."

He stared at her in confusion until she pointed at his tray. "They weren't serving _jello_." He stated adding emphasis to the world while gingerly poking the yellow mess.

"Wait," She then said. "My mistake."

Hawkeye pushed his tray away. "I can't eat this now."

"Well, at least you know not to have eggs again on Fridays."

"Thank you so much for sharing." Hawkeye retorted sarcastically. "Why Fridays?"

"End of the week." She stated, pushing her own tray away. "All the kitchen staff wanna do on a Friday is finish early and go out driving with girls."

"To see the sites of Korea?"

"Uh huh." Tasha smiled sweetly as BJ sat down with his tray.

"Having a pleasant conversation, I see." BJ greeted them. "Nice to see you two know how."

"Hey, I can be civil." Hawkeye protested good naturedly. "It's this one that's trouble."

Tasha smirked sarcastically, but made no comment.

"Did you hear if Winchester got off alright?" BJ asked, choking down his hash.

"Yeah, he left this morning." Tasha confirmed, sipping her coffee

"Ah, no classical music for three whole days." Hawkeye sighed derisively. "Did he get everyone's lists?"

"Handed them to him myself last night." BJ said. "But it could have been something else I gave him."

"I have a question." Tasha suddenly said.

"Shoot." Hawkeye watched her through half closed eyes.

"Do any of you know that guy standing near the door?" Both men immediately turned to look at the door as Tasha gave them both an exasperated look. "Do you have to be so obvious?"

"What guy?" BJ queried, not seeing anyone.

"Brown hair, squinty eyes-"

"Oh, that'd be Colonel Flagg." Hawkeye surmised from her description.

"He's with Military Intelligence," BJ added around his chewing. "Don't worry too much about him."

"Oh," Tasha blinked. "Okay. I thought the two would cancel each other out though."

"Huh?"

"Military and Intelligence. I dunno, the ones I had to talk to in London were a bunch a' plonkers, and just what is so damned funny!"

BJ was coughing, having been drinking his coffee when Tasha was speaking. Hawkeye was grinning in grand ol' humour at his friends reaction and Tasha's words.

"It's a international thing then." She surmised before standing. "See you around."

* * *

Tasha stopped in Radar's office, startled by the sudden appearance of a Colonel with squinty eyes she'd been seeing all over the place, sitting with his feet up on the desk.

"Captain Lewis, Colonel Flagg." He said by way of greeting as he got out of the chair. "We need to talk."

"I'm a little busy at the moment, Colonel." She said, nodding at the door to Post-Op. "Saving lives and all."

"It can't wait," Flagg stated as she walked past. "You see, I know."

Tasha stopped, a half-mystified, half-amused look on her face. "Know what, Colonel?"

"Don't play games, Captain, we both know what you know."

"Okay," She folded her arms around the clipboard to was carrying, willing to play along. "Just what is it that you know that I know?"

"I think you know."

" 'fraid not."

"Alright, Captain." Flagg nodded. "Well play it your way then. Tell me where Captain Gregory Henderson is."

Her half-mystified, half-amused expression vanished. "I have no idea." She responded haughtily. "Last I heard, he'd high tailed it up the peninsula."

Flagg's poor attempt at affability disappeared as she spoke. "You're lying." He stated bluntly. "You know where he is, and I will find out what you know."

With that, he turned suddenly, nearly crashed into Radar who was coming through the door.

"How much of that did you hear?" Flagg barked, startling the clerk.

"How much did I hear of what?" Radar answered quickly, attempting to get out of the way.

"Good, lets keep it that way." Flagg threw a final look at Tasha then disappeared into the compound.

"Jezz," Radar fumed. "What's his problem?" He directed the question at Tasha.

She shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe his collars too tight."

Tasha turned away from Radar, leaving him to his work. The slight smile on her face disappeared, changing to one of worry.

* * *

R&R 


End file.
